Neko



Vampability

A vampire's rant about injustice and prejudice. It's a collection of thinly-veiled analogies for ableism.



So I was just walking down the street at night, as one does. A small child comes running up to me. Cute child. I hate children. My opinion may make some people automatically consider me "bitter".

"Hey, why are you so pale? Did you not get enough sun?"

Before I am even given time to consider answering, an adult throws me a very uncomfortable glance, then grabs the child's hand.

"They got enough sun, honey." the person says to the child.

"Why are they so pale then, Mommy?"

"Come along, honey."

And with that, they pull the child out of the situation... an easily avoidable situation. If you just would teach your children that everybody is different, you wouldn't have to explain why some people aren't the same. But since you rather do it the hard way, every time there is a person slightly different from your child they will question it. And most of the time, you don't have an answer.

Two weeks later, I walk into an ice cream shop with a human friend of mine. We go to the counter.

"What would you guys like?"

"A small cup of chocolate ice cream please." my friend says.

"And a small cup of vanilla ice cream for me please." I say.

They put the cups of ice cream on the counter. Then, looking directly at my friend, they tell them "that will be six dollars." My friend looks at me, considering I'm the only one who brought money, since it was my idea to get ice cream. I hand them the money. Maybe it's no big deal. Maybe I'm reading into things too much.

It's now September. I meet my case worker, Mrs. (redacted) for about the twentieth time this month. She has a big smile on her face. A smile I don't think she ever uses for certain other people.

Now I'm in ninth grade. I don't know how I survived seventh and eighth. But I did! And now I'm a high school freshman. I meet my new case worker. She has a weird voice. That's not nice though. Anyway, she has been following me around all day to make sure the light from the windows isn't too much for me. Please. I've been avoiding windows my whole life. I've mastered it. She's probably only following me around because the va-professional failed to show up. She must think I actually need the va.

I have a killer headache one morning at school, so before my first class I go to the nurse. I explain to her that I have a headache, and she gets me medicine. After taking it, I ask her for a late pass. She says next time I don't have a pass for the nurse she won't give me a pass for class. But she agrees to give me a pass today. She doesn't get it out when she says though.

"So, how did you become a vampire?"

"Does it matter?"

"No, just curious."

"Well, I don't really tell people that."

"Do you not like to talk about it?"

"I just don't think it matters."

"Well, I didn't mean to offend you. It doesn't matter. I'm just curious."

"Well... when a lot of people ask, it makes me feel like it matters."

"I didn't mean to offend you." she says, strangely defensive. "It's like if you asked me how I became very slightly pale."

"Well... I wouldn't ask that... Can I have my pass... because now I'm... even later..."

"So it's not something you like to talk about?"

"It's just not something I tell people because I don't think it matters. Can I have the pass?"

She finally writes the pass and gives it to me. I leave, a bit agitated.

One day, at the mall, I walk out of one of the feeding rooms. I'm holding my now empty blood bag. A little girl looks up at me in confusion. Without looking away, she starts talking.

"Mommy, what is that?"

"That's a young person, just like you." the woman behind her says.

"But Mommy, what is that?"

"That's a young person."

"What is that?"

"Come along, honey." the woman says, pulling her daughter out of the area.

I shake it off and wash my hands.

One day, I go to the doctor's. Being that I do not drive, I had to bring my mother with me. As we are following the nurse, they stop in the area where they check your eyes and ears. When they do this, a light on their tool is turned on. Typically, the light is an ultraviolet light.

"Can they have a non-sunlight, ultraviolet light on them?" the nurse asks my mom, as if I am incapable of telling my own information.

"Yes, they can." I answer.

My mother scolds me for the way I answer. She doesn't get it. She doesn't care.

It's a regular school day. I'm going through a hallway with a windowed ceiling, so I have my umbrella up. Some "helpful" student comes running over to me and grabs my umbrella.

"You need some help?" they ask.

This phrase is starting to sound more like an accusation than a question.

"No, I got it." I try to say gratefully.

They're hesitant to give me back my umbrella. They continue to hold it for me.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

They hand it over.

Now, from my wanting to not be helped since I don't need it, I begin to slide into that "bitter" category again in many people's minds. I believe many humans have two categories for vampires. Almost all of us start in the "Blissful, Inspirational, I Can't Believe They Love Life" category. But as soon as we do something they don't like... We tell them we don't need help. We refuse to tell them our life story. We don't like children. These are just some examples... ...Then they put us in the "Bitter, Miserable, I Told You All Vampires Are Rude" category. Because generalizing is seen as okay in some people's eyes.

About seven parking spaces are reserved for vampires. This way they don't have to walk too far in the light. Which is great. Well, I don't have a car. But for other vampires, it's great. However, some humans don't care that it's reserved, and they park there anyway. This, understandably, makes some of my friends mad.

Many stores have outdoor canopies to make it easier on vampires to get in, so they don't have to be in the sun so long. Some places don't have this, and I'm either forced to tough it out and walk a long distance without the roof protection, or just not visit that store. Which is really a shame for them, because they probably lose a lot of business from vampires this way.

written by Ari Painful Writer