Me? Kind?
I've been so convinced by some people that I must truly be the worst person.
Whether they meant to teach me this or not, I absorbed the knowledge that I was actually awful, my personality had no redeeming qualities.
Well that's not completely true. I'm smart. Various people made me aware of this, even told me directly.
I talked like somebody much older than I. I picked up things fast. I'll even say I am witty and clever.
But I was not nice. I was not kind. I could never be warm or loving.
Someone told me I was a good person and I wanted to ask where? How?
Me? A good person?
I'm not a good person. Everyone that didn't tell me so, showed me so.
I'm mean. I'm an asshole. I'm a dick.
I'm just a mean person.
Why are you so mean?
I don't know why. I just know I am. Everyone told me so.
I can be good? I can even have empathy? Who knew! Not I.
I don't even know if I believe I am good.
Part of me thinks I am. Part of me thinks I am truly the worst person ever.
written by Ari Painful Writer